Researchers have found that male cockatoos craft drumstick-like tools that they use to attract mates by drumming a steady beat for up to 30 minutes at a time. What do you think?


“I guess the primal desire for a man who can keep a steady beat crosses all species boundaries.”

Danielle Munson • Tin Corrugator

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“Sure, if you want to hook up with the kind of cockatoo who likes the drummer.”

Tim Voukydis • Mascot Promoter

“Man, I can’t compete with that.”

Jason Dupuis • Filtration Expert