Researchers have found that male cockatoos craft drumstick-like tools that they use to attract mates by drumming a steady beat for up to 30 minutes at a time. What do you think?

“I guess the primal desire for a man who can keep a steady beat crosses all species boundaries.”
Danielle Munson • Tin Corrugator

“Sure, if you want to hook up with the kind of cockatoo who likes the drummer.”
Tim Voukydis • Mascot Promoter
Advertisement

“Man, I can’t compete with that.”
Jason Dupuis • Filtration Expert