PURCHASE, NY—Following the saboteur antics of a prankster focus group that reportedly convinced company officials the drink was not only palatable but delicious, PepsiCo announced Thursday the launch of its new Mountain Dew CinnaBlast beverage. “CinnaBlast absolutely tested through the roof!” said vice president of marketing Brad Sheets, unaware the enthusiasm expressed by the ill-intentioned group of consumer taste-testers was wholly and deliberately misleading. “They were saying, ‘This is delicious—keep the cinnamon coming!’ And that’s exactly what we did. They also had some great ideas we may try out in the future, like adding nutmeg, putting some cloves in there, or encouraging people to drink it hot.” Reached for comment, members of the spiteful focus group admitted they had almost recommended PepsiCo use a jingle built around Lou Bega’s “Mambo No. 5,” but ultimately decided that would be going too far.

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