STOUGHTON, MA—Searching for any signs of himself at all in the memorial’s presentation, local man Cameron Miller told reporters Tuesday that he hoped there was a picture of himself with his deceased friend in the slideshow displayed at the wake. “I know I wasn’t Jason best friend, but I think we took some flattering pictures together that his family might want to remember him by,” said Miller, his hopes diminished as minute after minute passed without revealing a single photograph of himself alongside the deceased at a summer barbecue, memorable hike, or baseball game. “What about that time we drove down to Florida? That seems like it’s worth commemorating, right? I mean, what the hell? I’m way closer to him than Eric, and that fucker has been in there twice. Also, I totally get putting family in there, but does he really need this many pictures with his kids?” At press time, Miller concluded that the reason the wake’s attendees appeared so upset was that the slideshow failed to include most of the man’s good buddies.
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