DENTON, TX—Stating that a person never knows when they’ll need a sword, area man Stanley Castillo told reporters Wednesday that he recently bought a sword in case he ever needs a sword. “You don’t want to be caught without a sword when you need a sword, which is why I bought this sword,” said Castillo, explaining that he noticed the sword on a display rack at a local sword retailer and realized the sword would come in handy if he should find himself in a situation that called for a sword. “I heard a story about a guy who needed a sword but didn’t have a sword, and hoo boy, let me tell you—it did not end well for the swordless guy. In fact, the more I think about it, I should probably go out and buy a second sword just in case I ever need two swords.” At press time, witnesses confirmed Castillo had been killed in a sword fight.
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