COLUMBUS — Claiming to be so ignorant as to judge another human being simply based on their skin, local man Oliver Kent told reporters Monday that he didn’t see color, only head shape. “Listen, I don’t care whether you’re Black, white, green, or purple, all that matters is the exact contours of your skull that determines your inherent worth as a person,” said Kent, describing how he was of course morally disgusted by discrimination based on someone’s ethnicity or culture, as it was a much less accurate metric for how respectfully someone should be treated than the shape and size of their cranium. “Someone’s race isn’t going to tell you everything about them, it is their personality and potential as determined by calipers. People these days are so quick to make things about race or even gender, when understanding if someone is an inferior subhuman all comes down to the slope of their foreheads. And, yes, many times the measurements of the head correlates to race, but that’s not the primary thing to consider.” At press time, Kent added that if a particular race did dominate many others, that might likely be due to a genetic superiority.