TAMPA, FL—Shaking their heads as he confidently eschewed the large binder of songs and recited his chosen track number by heart, patrons at karaoke bar Luna’s told reporters today that local man Steven Croucher obviously sings Fleetwood Mac’s “Little Lies” every single time he’s there. “God, this guy’s barely glanced at the lyrics scrolling on the screen and he hasn’t missed a word yet—he has to do this every Friday night,” said onlooker Brenna Eichorst, rolling her eyes as Croucher launched into a dramatic, impeccable air synthesizer solo during the song’s interlude, which she speculated had been perfected over dozens of prior performances. “No rookie would have the balls to try singing Stevie Nicks’ part during the chorus, but this guy nailed it. I’m beginning to think he even practices this one at home.” At press time, witnesses reported the cocky son of a bitch was already putting his name in the queue again, this time to perform A-ha’s “Take On Me.”

Brought to you by Four Loko

Advertisement