LUBBOCK, TX—Admitting that he assumed the guy was waving his gun at him, local man Jeffrey Regis confirmed Wednesday that he was embarrassed after taking a bullet intended for the person behind him. “Oh my god, I’m such an idiot—I totally thought those shots he fired were meant to go into my chest, skull, and arm,” said Regis, adding that he had honestly thought the guy screaming wildly and shooting in his direction looked familiar, and the last thing he wanted to do was be rude. “I swear, he looked exactly like this guy who wanted to kill me, but it turns out he wanted to kill someone else. Ugh, and by the time I realized it, it was too late. Now I’m going to bleed out.” Regis added that he hoped he was able to play it cool by taking out his own gun and pulling the trigger a few times to make it look like he had shot himself.
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