CHICAGO—As he anxiously examined his hairline in the mirror, local 32-year-old Bryce Keough, a man whom no one has looked at directly in weeks, became increasingly concerned Thursday that everyone could tell he was balding. “Jesus, this looks terrible—what am I going to do?” said Keough, who stared at his reflection in anguish as he attempted to devise a plan to hide his receding hairline from the occasional service worker or random passerby whose eyes would neither focus upon the man nor even register his physical presence any more than was necessary to hand him a receipt or maneuver their way past him on a sidewalk. “I’m getting a bald spot on top, too, which means I’m gonna look a decade older anytime I don’t wear a hat. How am I supposed to go out in public when everyone will be staring [past me and at something else entirely]?” At press time, sources told reporters they were revolted and horrified during the brief instant in which the balding man had passed through the most distant, blurry edge of their peripheral vision.
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