BLOOMINGTON, MN—Attending a corporate leadership seminar at a local hotel conference center Wednesday, area sales director Mark Nellis reportedly felt his heart stop when a workshop speaker asked audience members to take a moment and turn to the person next to them. “Oh, God, she’s going to make me talk to this guy,” Nellis said to himself, appearing visibly agitated as he realized he would soon have to engage in an uncomfortable, wholly unnatural exchange with the stranger to his right, perhaps writing down a list of career goals or participating in some sort of management-oriented game. “What if I have to fill a whole five minutes sharing something unique about myself? Fuck. I just hope she doesn’t make us speak in front of the whole group about what we learned from each other.” At press time, sources confirmed a wave of panic appeared to wash over Nellis as the speaker told everyone to remember their exchange, as they would be returning to it later on.
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