RALEIGH, NC—Suddenly realizing the direness of his situation halfway through speaking a sentence aloud, local 31-year-old Clint Levy reportedly found himself far too deep into a discussion of menu items during a business lunch Wednesday to avoid saying “charcuterie,” a word he is unable to pronounce, sources confirmed. “Oh, no, it’s coming up. Shit, what do I do?” Levy reportedly thought as he continued talking, admitting to himself that even if he were to add a few extra words as he approached the uncertain pronunciation, he would still have to face the phonetically complicated noun nonetheless. “I can buy myself some time by throwing an ‘um’ in there, but that’ll give me two seconds at the most. God, if I hesitate or try to sound it out, they’ll know I don’t have any idea how to say this thing. Fuck.” At press time, sources reported that Levy had accepted his fate and summoned the courage to just go for it.
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