SHREVEPORT, LA—Writing his 10th consecutive post on a Telegram channel dedicated to the men’s rights movement, local resident Gabe Gearhardt, who googled “how to kiss” two years ago, is currently in the midst of a full-blown misogynist tirade, sources stated Tuesday. According to reports, in 2021, Gearhardt earnestly sought advice about kissing in a manner that his date might find pleasurable, and he is now furiously typing a screed in which he maintains that society unfairly privileges women, who he says are too emotional to be the intellectual equals of men. Gearhardt, who is also a regular contributor to the subreddit r/TheRedPill and is presently accusing women of participating in a feminist conspiracy to deny men sex, once reportedly entered an online forum in which he asked how wet his lips should be when kissing, what he should do with his hands, and whether it was okay to use tongue during a first kiss or if a girl might think that was gross. At press time, sources confirmed that the man now posting a 5,000-word rant advocating laws that would require women to remain sexually subservient to men had never been kissed.
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