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Marvel Not Even Bothering To Replace Green Screens With CGI Anymore

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LOS ANGELES—In an effort to save millions in production costs with little effect on viewership, Marvel Studios announced Monday that it wasn’t even going to bother replacing green screens with CGI anymore. “Essentially, we’re just going to put the actors in front of a green background, film the thing, and that’s what you’ll see in theaters,” said Marvel president Kevin Feige, explaining that upcoming movies from The Marvels to Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania would simply feature performers like Brie Larson or Paul Rudd wandering around a monotone green background and occasionally battling as they discussed plans to save the world. “Why are we doing this? Well, because you dumbasses will lap up whatever shit we throw your way. How’s that? In fact, we might not even put the characters in their superhero costumes. People already know what those look like. They can imagine all the colorful action for themselves. What the hell else do you want? Oh yeah, and Andy Serkis will probably be in most of these, too, but we aren’t going to do anything special with him. It’ll just be Andy Serkis wandering around in a skin-tight green suit.” Feige added that if the current experiment was successful, Marvel might move toward a future in which it did away with visuals and audio entirely, making movies that simply entailed sitting in a dark theater for two hours and 15 minutes.