Americans React To The Nation’s Masculinity Crisis

“It’s clear that if we want our struggling young boys to improve, we need more men in positions of power to look out for their interests.”

“It used to be that a man would just silently deal with his problems, but now society forces me to testify in my vehicular homicide trial.”

“Help! I can’t find my penis!”

“Our parents failed us. My father never taught me how to open doors for ladies; I just learned how to open doors and had to piece the rest together myself.”

“I’m doing my part by undermining the confidence of my daughters.”

“The masculinity crisis is far superior to the femininity crisis. It’s just science.”

“The complaints about masculinity being under attack are overblown. I feel just as comfortable being hateful and misogynistic as I did 10 years ago.”

“I’m personally not in crisis. My penis is bigger than ever.”

“I wouldn’t call the fact that my husband occasionally does the dishes now a ‘crisis’ per se.”

“They won’t stop until I take up baking or sewing or something useful and fun like that.”

“Everybody just needs to buy more truck nutz.”

“We need a new war to toughen up this generation of men and turn them back into emotional black holes of alcoholism and child abuse.”

“I don’t want some effeminate guy. I want to marry a real man who never talks to me and eventually leaves me for a 19-year-old.”

“It’s a travesty that men don’t have purpose now that women are allowed to work.”

“I bet it’d help if we women agreed to share some of our power.”

“Don’t look at me. I’m an aggro lunatic.”

“As a pathetic little cuck, I couldn’t be more excited.”

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