America's Finest News Source.
We may earn a commission from links on this page.
America's Finest News Source.

Matador Clearly Just Projecting Own Insecurities About Having Red Cloth Waved At Him

We may earn a commission from links on this page.
Image for article titled Matador Clearly Just Projecting Own Insecurities About Having Red Cloth Waved At Him

MADRID—Surmising that the professional bullfighter still had latent childhood trauma that he needed to work out, spectators at the Las Ventas stadium told reporters Wednesday that matador Ernesto Ordóñez was clearly just projecting his own insecurities about having a red cloth waved at him onto the bull. “Jeez, he’s probably the only one in this entire arena who doesn’t see all the obvious psychological baggage he’s holding onto with that red cloth,” said local 37-year-old Elena Valverde, speculating that the matador’s parents had tauntingly waved a red cloth at him when he was a child, thereby creating an insecure attachment style in his relationships that caused him to lash out at the muscular Toro Bravo circling him in the ring. “He’s out there acting like this bull gives a damn whether or not there’s a muleta waved in its face. That’s not it, Ernesto. Deep down, you’re the sole person who cares about the red cloth—and you care so much it’s tearing you up inside. How long can you push down this anger and fear under that embroidered cape and montera hat?” At press time, the crowd expressed sadness at witnessing the matador’s continued pattern of self-harm after he had been repeatedly gored by the 1,247-pound bull.