Mayday! Mayday! McCain Is Going Down!

The election is heating up! As readers of this blog know, even though I do not live in America, I have been following the race pretty closely, and am rooting for my dear old friend John McCain. If he wins, I will be the most popular former torturer in all of Vietnam!

I have been watching old Johnny give his big political speeches, just like the ones he used to give to me, except without so much of the begging and the weeping and the screaming for help. I have to say, Johnny boy, I liked your old speeches better! Ha ha.


Still, you have to admire the man. After all, he was a brilliant fighter pilot, right? At least, that's what I always thought, back when I used to pass the time by seeing how long old Johnny could hold his breath for. But then, just yesterday, I saw this.

According to his Air Force flight record, apparently my pal Johnny was something of a "Betsy butterfingers" when it came to flying jets. His flight commanders even gave him the sarcastic nickname "Ace McCain" because he crashed so many times!

Maybe one too many times for your own good. Isn't that right, you big pussy? Ha ha.

I'm just kidding you, John McCain! I know those reports are only lies spread by your country's Liberal Mainstream Media! They just don't want to see a former captive of the Viet Cong make good!

Hang in there, Ace! You can still win this!