Members Of Congress Who Tested Positive For Covid-19 And How They Got It

Tackled by cloud of Covid-19 virus after getting into a verbal altercation with it on his lawn.

Has had his body piloted by the Covid-19 virus ever since he died in February of 2020.

Lying 14-year-old floozy claimed she just had allergies.

Given Covid-19 as part of a welcome package from congressional Republicans during her first week on the job.

Just going to blame Black Lives Matter until even one person in his district asks for clarification.

As the most recent lawmaker to get a Covid diagnosis, Lynch is just excited to get to see his name in a real live newspaper.

Eight trips to roast beef station at jam-packed buffet.

Got it from staying at the Capitol for long hours working on new ways to prevent 9/11 responders from receiving benefits.

It took several days for the California congressman to realize he had Covid after assuming his shortness of breath was due to routine smog-poisoning.

Pulled down his mask and screamed “Yippee!” while dancing and cartwheeling through a lollipop factory.

About a year of asking for it.

Needed quick boost of conservative street cred after signaling openness to working on Biden infrastructure plan.

Huddling during the Capitol riots with a group of unmasked legislators who wanted to kill her in a different way than the rioters.

Not from Donald Trump, to his everlasting shame.

Demanded doctors perform ultrasound of the virus before removing it from his body.

Received $50,000 campaign donation from Covid lobby in exchange for promoting the virus.

Somehow contracted the virus even though every single person he encounters actively tries to maintain at least 10 feet of distance from him.

Who can say, honestly? Ed is a man of mystery, a one-of-a-kind enigma who entrances and mystifies by equal measure.

Madison, if you’re reading this, you’ve just tested positive for Covid-19. Please call your doctor immediately.

Became infected with Covid despite believing the virus would be eradicated by the flames from the burning cross.