Men Reveal Why They’ve Decided To Get Vasectomies

“I’ll do whatever it takes to support the illusion that I get laid a lot.”

“It’s one of the easier ways to get oxycontin.”

“In solidarity with my brother who is medically unfuckable.”

“I needed someone to practice on.”

“I bet on the Celtics in the NBA Finals, and a deal’s a deal.”​

“Needed a few days off work and out of vacation time.”

“Got tired of supergluing my penis shut every morning.”

“All of the other emasculated cucks are doing it.”

“The evil of my lineage must be ended.”

“My wife wants kids. When she finds out about my operation, she’ll be livid. We’ll fight. Then we’ll have hot, steamy makeup sex. Then I’ll get the vasectomy reversed. She’ll be enthralled. We’ll have hot, steamy celebration sex. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what they call a twofer.”

“​I don’t want another kid, and I’m actually thinking about losing one of the kids I already have.”

“It would be hypocritical of me to not fully embrace all consequences of the court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade.”

“It makes for a great icebreaker at networking events.”

“It was nice to have someone else touch my penis.”

“The way the Government is controlling women’s bodies got me scared that they might do the same thing to men someday. What if they force us to have children next?”

“I get a ton of elective surgeries in hopes someone medical malpractices on me and I can make an easy buck.”

“I wildly misunderstood an advertisement for Ryan Reynolds’ Aviation Gin.”

“It’s the only medical care covered by my insurance.”