Men’s Rights Activists Defend Russell Brand

“Well, why didn’t they just say ‘yes’ in the first place?”

“He waved his hands enough in that video for me to consider him innocent.”

“The Big Pharma companies made him assault those women!”

“I always side with the hairball.”

“I didn’t need to hear even one word of the story to know they’re all liars.”

“Why does the media always slander rich white men in power? Why not poor men of color?”

“Okay, so I’m going to say, ‘Where’s the evidence,’ and then you’re going to present some evidence, and then I’m going to say, ‘Innocent until proven guilty!’ and then you’re going to explain that only applies directly to criminal trials, and then I’m just going to make a violent threat against you.”

“My hope is that if I defend Russell Brand from his rape allegations online, he’ll turn around and do the same thing for me one day.”

“Since when would a podcast host do anything wrong?”

“I would stake my reputation on the fact that Russell Brand is a good man.”

“Look, I don’t know what to tell you, I love sexual assault and I hate women, and that’s just how it is.”

“Aw, man! No one ever tells me when there’s a penis out and about to admire until after the fact.”

“It’s so annoying. This is exactly what women did with Bill Cosby: honestly stating what happened to them and getting a guilty person arrested.”

“They say the assaults happened between 2006 and 2013, but Russell Brand wasn’t even born until 2019.”

“How many men need to be persecuted before one woman goes to jail?”

“The Deep State will say anything to prevent him from winning the presidency again.”

“Unfortunately, I find Russell’s voice extremely annoying and really don’t enjoy his acting. So I’ll have to threaten the lives of these women based on principle alone.”

“I teach a whole course on the tendency of sluts to ask for it, regret it, and get rich off it.”

“I promise you that I did rape those teenagers. I mean I didn’t. I didn’t rape those teenagers...phew, close one, Russell. You almost publicly admitted that you raped all those teenagers, which obviously happened.”

“Seriously? The guy who always plays horny, egotistical Lotharios who don’t like to hear the word ‘no’ in movies? Damn.”

“Women lie. Also, meow.”

“Outside of raping all those people, name one thing Russell Brand did wrong.”

“Does no one ever learn? Do people not realize the horrible comeback special this is going to provoke out of the man?”

“His long hair and tight pants make him too feminine for me to view him with any empathy.”

Edgelords Explain Why They Love Elon Musk

Things To Never Say To A Fan Of Bill Maher

Texans Explain Why Helping Someone Get An Abortion Is A Crime

Back To Homepage