As the University of Miami is investigated for illegal dealings between players and boosters, Onion Sports offers this handy guide to what is alleged to have happened:
- Players forgot to give the NCAA a cut
- While players waited for prostitutes to arrive, boosters would often get naked and tell players to go ahead and do whatever they wanted to tide them over
- Hurricanes gave world Ray Lewis
- All deals had to take place under the table, as Miami student-athletes don't understand how tables work
- Free ketchup packets with every meal
- After just a year or two, some players received the benefit of leaving Miami forever
- Those keychains with the button that you push and they light up: They got those
- Top-flight athletes were illegally paid for their on-field performances in nationally televised sporting events that legally made the school hundreds of millions of dollars