Midwest Mumps Epidemic

The number of mumps cases has grown to more than 1,100 across eight Midwestern states in the largest outbreak in nearly two decades. What do you think?

"Finally. God has seen fit to punish Midwesterners for their depraved, decadent 'lifestyle.'"

Sam Wilson • Baker


"Because of the swollen glands, we should also see a spike in Godfather impressions."

Becky Anderson • Beautician

"Every time a deadly disease affects people in the Midwest, you hear about it in the news. It's like New York and Los Angeles don't even exist."

Vlad Paretski • Herpetologist