Hardcore gaming fans were massively disappointed when this year’s Electronic Entertainment Expo got canceled due to the spread of Covid-19. But luckily, OGN is here to give you a taste of what you’re missing. That’s right, readers! If you’re pining away for the E3 experience, then feast your eyes on this pixel-perfect recreation we made by locking a bunch of sweating, overheated gamers in our janitorial closet.
Sure, the largest gaming trade show of the year might be canceled, but Onion Gamers Network’s got your back with an authentic replica of E3 featuring 15 large, overexerted gaming enthusiasts trapped in an office janitor’s closet!
Gamers, we know you had been looking forward to checking out E3 for months, so you deserve the closest approximation we could give you. That’s why we’ve made absolutely sure to make our recreation as authentic as possible: Anamanaguchi is blaring on the portable speakers to the point these gamers can’t hear themselves think, it’s completely impossible to find a bathroom—since there isn’t one inside the closet—and it’s possible to actually feel the moisture of fresh stains on the backs and armpits of people that bump into you. And don’t forget the smell!
For an added layer of authenticity, one of the gamers is wearing an actual Deadpool costume that we forced him to put on. Make sure to check out all the hard work he put in before he passes out from heatstroke! This place is nearly 87 degrees Fahrenheit and rising!
We know nothing will ever make up for losing the experience of attending E3 2020 and getting a taste of the biggest and brightest that the industry has to offer. But this here is the next best thing—so come on in, stock up on swag such as dishrags and cleaning solution, fight your fellow fans to play the single half-charged Game Gear we left in there, and be sure to catch the keynote speech from one of the gamers begging to be let out!
Now, this is how real gamers make the best of a tough situation.