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“Of course, the Dodgers have to be considered the favorites, but too many people are overlooking the Mets only because they suck hard and won’t make the playoffs.”
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“The White Sox have a real shot to come out of the American League. Tony La Russa made a great deadline move to upgrade at designated driver.”
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“The Dodgers will regret trading for Max Scherzer after they are reminded of the contractual loophole by which all wins he earns for them actually go towards the Nationals.”
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“The Orioles will win all 80 of their remaining 5 games to storm into the second AL Wild Card spot.”
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“I think I’ll continue to try way too hard to make you forget how much you hated me as a player.”
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“The Blue Jays have the young bats and the veteran arms to be a real surprise, unless they miss the playoffs, in which case just say I said that about some other team.”
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“I’m not giving away the surprise.”
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“I predict the Angels executive group will learn the Japanese phrase for ‘trade demand.’”
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“My head says the Dodgers, but my employer’s big market bias also says the Dodgers.”
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With all the advances across biomechanics, statistical analysis, strength training, and pitch tunneling, I’ll get plenty of chances to explain to fans how these guys suck compared to players from my time.
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“The Rays are playing some of their best baseball at the right time, which could very well make this another postseason that nobody ever remembers.”
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“The real magic of playoff baseball is that anything could happen. Like, I probably won’t die, but who knows?”
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“Tampa Bay will have home-field advantage, which may affect their ability to scout for new locations to move the team.”
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“I am going to do a bunch of promos for Alter Ego and The Big Leap, and I predict both will be canceled by January.”
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“I hate to say it, but Covid will play a key role in the playoffs. Vaccinated teams have a much better chance of getting hit with an outbreak, because life is a fucking nightmare and moral choices are only rewarded by chaos.”
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