POTOMAC, MD—Mere steps away from the parking lot after moving quickly from the store’s toy department to its exit, local mother Tracey Wenton reportedly came to a dead stop Tuesday and reluctantly turned back for her son after hearing her name called over the loudspeaker at Target. “Goddamn it—I was so close,” said a sighing, visibly subdued Wenton, who, after her 5-year-old became distracted in the Lego aisle, is reported to have backed away from him quietly and then made her way through the store as rapidly as possible without attracting attention. “Another five seconds and I would have been in the clear. I lengthened my stride and walked as fast as I could, but clearly I should have just made a run for it. Fuck. That was my last hope. What am I supposed to do now?” At press time, sources confirmed Wenton had retrieved her son from the guest services kiosk and resolved that next time she would try a bigger place, like Costco or Lowe’s, where the boy would get turned around easier and stay lost longer.
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