Mom’s Quirky Friend Turns Out To Be Joakim Noah

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CHICAGO—Saying the lively but awkward stranger had long been something of a mystery, local teen Eric Hewer told reporters Thursday that he recently learned his mother’s quirky friend is in fact Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah. “Mom’s always had this really loud, scruffy friend who seems a little bit off,” said Hewer, 17, adding that even in public, the peculiar acquaintance’s long, curly hair is typically bunched into a messy ponytail or simply left to drape over loose-fitting clothing. “Of course there’s also the high-pitched laugh and his weird gap-toothed grin. At some point, probably when I first heard that awful shrieking, I just realized, ‘Oh, that’s Joakim Noah from the Bulls.’” Hewer added that the revelation has since clarified why his mother’s odd friend constantly bad-mouths Kevin Garnett during any conversation.