BEMIDJI, MN—Visibly horrified as she listed off numerous ways in which they could easily get hurt, local mother Anne Hendrickson expressed grave concern Monday for NHL players who don’t wear visors on their helmets. “I can’t believe they’re allowed to go out there and play like that,” said Hendrickson, adding that the athletes playing without any sort of face shield were just asking to be hit by a puck and risk being knocked unconscious or permanently blinded. “With those sticks flying around and everyone hitting each other, it’s no wonder half of them are missing their teeth. Honestly, they should all have to wear that big helmet the goalie has on—at least he has some common sense.” At press time, a clearly disgusted Hendrickson could be overheard asking if players really had to ram each other into the boards so hard.

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