STANFORD, CA—In a survey of how the nation’s local officials have responded to the pandemic in the absence of a consistent federal approach, Stanford University researchers confirmed Monday that more cities have begun offering drive-thru Covid-19 injection sites to put citizens out of their misery. “By injecting people with SARS-CoV-2, these pop-up locations provide an effective way to escape the endless anguish, gloom, and isolation this virus has inflicted upon us—and all from the convenience of one’s car,” said report co-author Sara Pappas, explaining that a certain percentage of those receiving the injection inevitably die, but whether through death or immunity, all those infected receive sweet release from an untenable situation they just can’t take anymore. “Individuals who have experienced feelings of hopelessness or despair in recent months may wish to seek out one of these drive-up facilities. Restaurant and service workers who interact with the public on a regular basis can generally receive their injections for free, and those with health insurance are covered as well, with most insurers paying the full cost of the injection and up to 10% of any subsequent hospitalizations.” Pappas went on to state that if only 80 to 90% of Americans would visit these Covid-19 injection sites, the pandemic would be over in weeks.
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