More States Expanding Hunting Season To Combat Rising French Bulldog Population

Illustration for article titled More States Expanding Hunting Season To Combat Rising French Bulldog Population

FALLS CHURCH, VA—Estimating that as many as tens of thousands of the animals were currently running rampant, a new report from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service issued Wednesday found that more states were expanding their hunting seasons to combat the rising French bulldog population. “The French bulldog population has grown uncontrollably over the past few years, overrunning our nation’s neighborhoods, dog parks, and city streets, and we applaud states’ efforts to cull the breed,” said agency director Aurelia Skipwith, who recommended that Americans protect their homes from the pests by caulking all doggy doors and not leaving foods like cheese and peanut butter out overnight. “They’re dirty, they’re diseased, and they’re disgusting. Plus, they’re a major threat to Labrador retrievers and German shepherds. We don’t want these malformed beasts interbreeding and infecting the rest of the dog population. Hopefully, eliminating a few thousand of these pups will allow other breeds to flourish.” At press time, officials added a stern reminder that the too-cute-for-words English bulldog was strictly off limits.