Illustration for article titled ‘More Tranquil Dammit!’ Screams Perfectionist Ambient Sound Producer Demanding Another Take From Babbling Creek

BIG BEAR LAKE, CA—Holding the microphone up to the brook while trying to capture the perfect snippet of running water, Glenn Duncan, a perfectionist ambient sound producer, reportedly demanded another take from a babbling creek Tuesday, screaming at the body of water to be “More tranquil, dammit!” “Jesus fucking Christ, you call that being placid?” said Duncan at the small tributary, slating the 57th take of the day as he angrily instructed it to “do its fucking job” and flow over a moss-covered rock more slowly. “We’re going to be here until two in the morning if that’s what it’s going to take to get you to pour down that hill with peaceful grace and not like a fucking clumsy elephant. God, you know there’s a 100 other creeks I could be working with that actually know how to serenely trickle into a pond?” After finally capturing the perfect take, Duncan popped a bottle of champagne and told the stream, “You’re going to be a star, baby!”


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