Most Anticipated E3 Announcements

Most Anticipated E3 Announcements

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Although it might be all-digital this year, the venerable E3 name still packs enough of a punch to have gamers worldwide quaking with excitement for all the sneak peaks, leaks, and new releases sure to be teased during the biggest week in gaming. Here are the most anticipated announcements for E3 2021!

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Nintendo Unveils Results Of Luigi’s DNA Test

Nintendo Unveils Results Of Luigi’s DNA Test

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Are Luigi and Mario actually brothers? Is Luigi the father of Baby Luigi? Does Luigi have any Romanian ancestry? All these questions will be answered and more.

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An Open Tab With A Google Search For “Woman”

An Open Tab With A Google Search For “Woman”

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In an effort to foster a more inclusive environment, this year’s E3 will feature a web stream of a laptop with the word “woman” typed into a Google search bar.

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Halo 2

Halo 2

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Given the acclaim for their 2001 sci-fi shooter Halo: Combat Evolved, Bungie would be fools not to follow up on that success with some kind of sequel.

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Nintendo Unveils New Labo Moving Kit

Nintendo Unveils New Labo Moving Kit

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Expect Nintendo to expand their line of cardboard peripherals with a new series of moving accessories, including 12” x 12” x 16”, 16” x 16” x 18”, and even 18” x 18” x 24” options.

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The Revenge Of Dr. Mondrake Renoir

The Revenge Of Dr. Mondrake Renoir

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The gathering of all those odious gaming journalists will be the perfect opportunity for the good doctor to enact his vengeance upon those who poorly reviewed his diabolically brilliant FTP shooter Renoir’s Renegades, which currently has a 4.7 average on Metacritic.

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Shigeru Miyamoto

Shigeru Miyamoto

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Miyamoto is expected to loudly exclaim “Look what I can do!” before doing a half-cartwheel and falling on his side.

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Sony

Sony

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Rumors are swirling that Sony president Jim Ryan intends to spend his time onstage setting the world’s supply of PlayStation 5's aflame while laughing maniacally.

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A New Button

A New Button

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With the classic buttons like L, Start, and X feeling increasingly played out, we’d love to see one of the Big Three companies shake things up with a truly new button like Ñ or even Ə.

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Reminder That The Child Inside Of Us Never Stopped Playing

Reminder That The Child Inside Of Us Never Stopped Playing

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Sort of a throwaway line, whatever, not a huge deal.

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Breath Of The Wild 2

Breath Of The Wild 2

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Look for Nintendo to give a release date and title to this long-awaited sequel, or if not, expect us to run a series of articles titled like “Breath of the Wild 2: Release Date, Title, and More!” with a long preamble leading to “the release date is anyone’s guess.”

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Silvio Berlusconi Opening A Game Studio

Silvio Berlusconi Opening A Game Studio

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This is probably a distraction intended to boost the disgraced Italian politician’s public perception ahead of another run for prime minister. But, hey, with all the resources he has at his disposal, he could make something really special, so we’re at least going to give him a chance on that front.

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Who Shot Todd Howard?

Who Shot Todd Howard?

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Was it his spurned mistress Esmerelda? His scheming brother-in-law Wilhelm? His separated-at-birth identical twin Octavio? Or even…himself? You’ll want to keep your schedule clear for the riveting conclusion to gaming’s greatest whodunnit when the true culprit is revealed during E3’s grand finale.

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