Most Common Cause Of Death In Every State

2 / 52

Alabama

Fraternity hazing: We swear he was dead when he got here, officer.

3 / 52

Alaska

Eaten by grizzly when swimming upstream to spawn: Thousands of Alaskans die every year while making the treacherous journey back to the riverbed in which they were born to spawn a new generation.

4 / 52

Arizona

Air conditioning wave: Hundreds of Phoenix residents die every summer when deadly air conditioning waves reduce indoor temperatures to as low as 50 degrees.

5 / 52

Arkansas

Toddler with a shotgun: Shot hundreds after finding a gun in his mother’s closet and stumbling around the state.

6 / 52

California

Liposuction accidentally sucks out internal organs: An all-too-common death in the physique-obsessed Golden State.

7 / 52

Colorado

Avalanche: That’s what you get for loudly opening a can of beer on the slopes.

8 / 52

Connecticut

The maid: It was the maid! It was the maid the whole time!

9 / 52

Delaware

Saddest autoerotic asphyxiation you’ll ever see: God, their pathetic frail bodies, their small gray penises still clutched in their desperate claws, yearning for even a moment—a single moment—of joy or release in their miserable lives.

10 / 52

Florida

Sucked into the propellers of an airboat: Unfortunate how common it is for residents to surface from the waters of the Everglades, only to have their head chopped off by the spinning propellers of an airboat.

11 / 52

Georgia

Choking on peach pits: Exasperated health officials are really out of ideas for how to convince residents to not eat these fucking things.

12 / 52

Hawaii

Carried off by seagulls: Where they take people is anyone’s guess. But one thing is certain: they never come back.

13 / 52

Idaho

Blunt potato trauma: Idahoans are hit and killed by potatoes in the thousands, and many never even see it coming.

14 / 52

Illinois

Terminal beef: Illinois residents rarely live six months after receiving this diagnosis.

15 / 52

Indiana

Crucifixion: Whether you’re a thief or a messiah, everyone gets nailed to a cross eventually.

16 / 52

Iowa

Whatever it is, the corpse isn’t found for weeks: Cancer, opioid overdose, heatstroke—no matter the cause, there’s no chance the body gets found until it smells so bad that the neighbor comes over to check.

17 / 52

Kansas

Horniness: Many Kansas residents ejaculate so infrequently that their testicles simply explode.

18 / 52

Kentucky

Trampled by derby horses while trying to retrieve big hat that blew off in wind: It was custom!!

19 / 52

Louisiana

FEMA: Responsible for countless injuries and deaths.

20 / 52

Maine

Tainted bisque: Bisque that is bought off the street and laced with fentanyl kills too many Mainers to count.

21 / 52

Maryland

[Redacted]: [Redacted]

22 / 52

Massachusetts

Ending up at Boston University: It’s fine, but it’s not Harvard. It’s not where your father went and his father and his father, is it? So, what’s the point of living at all?

23 / 52

Michigan

Riding on auto plant assembly line to see if it turns you into a car: Doesn’t work.

24 / 52

Minnesota

Kindness: All murders are committed with a smile and an apology.

25 / 52

Mississippi

Feline syphilis: Sex education in the state is even worse than you think.

26 / 52

Missouri

Archquakes: The St. Louis Arch’s violent tremors have destroyed the city dozens of times.

27 / 52

Montana

Impaled by mountain: Though it takes millions of years, it’s an absolutely brutal way to go.

28 / 52

Nebraska

Whatever’s easiest: No need to make a fuss, just plain old heart attack or diabetes is just fine.

29 / 52

Nevada

Raising hand during magic show: Vanished by David Copperfield and never seen again.

30 / 52

New Hampshire

Diving headfirst into quarry without checking first to see if there’s any water in there: Live free or die.

31 / 52

New Jersey

Sheer stupidity: These fucking idiots are always walking into traffic and shit.

32 / 52

New Mexico

Hot peppers: Hot! Too hot!

33 / 52

New York

Sat on by large man on subway car: Always be aware of your surroundings.

34 / 52

North Carolina

Low and slow cooking: BBQ accounts for thousands of fall-off-the-bone juicy North Carolinian corpses each year.

35 / 52

North Dakota

Jack the Ripper: Guy is still around apparently, and he’s cleaning up in North Dakota.

36 / 52

Ohio

Failure to heed Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame security personnel: Attempt to touch Angus Young’s schoolboy outfit at your own peril.

37 / 52

Oklahoma

Dying is illegal here: The state’s restrictive dying laws have forced many Oklahomans to leave the state to die, a privilege low income residents don’t have.

38 / 52

Oregon

Assisted suicide: You legalize it, and just like that, they’re hooked.

39 / 52

Pennsylvania

Eagles’ wins: Their last victory wiped out half the population of Philadelphia.

40 / 52

Rhode Island

Oxygen deprivation: There’s just too many people in a state that small for everyone to breathe at once.

41 / 52

South Carolina

North Carolina: South Carolina’s northern neighbor frequently collapses through its shared border, crushing hundreds of residents each time.

42 / 52

South Dakota

Turning to stone: An often fatal condition that took the lives of Presidents Roosevelt, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Washington.

43 / 52

Tennessee

Lost in Dolly Parton’s wig: It can be weeks, months, or even years before rescuers find the remains of someone lost in the dense blonde strands.

44 / 52

Texas

Vegetables: Though not necessarily fatal if cooked in bacon fat, generally speaking the consumption of dark leafy greens is considered a major cause of preventable death in the state.

45 / 52

Utah

Drinking single sip of decaf coffee: The caffeine rush of one single sip of decaf coffee is enough to kill 10 mormons.

46 / 52

Vermont

Wrong size Patagonia fleece: Linked to over 200 strangulation deaths per year.

47 / 52

Virginia

Knowing too much: You’re going to need to come with us.

48 / 52

Washington

Bezos decides to have you killed: Though it’s all a game to the Amazon founder, the death toll is very real.

49 / 52

West Virginia

Coal Bites: Some coal is harmless, but many species of lumps carry a deadly neurotoxin.

50 / 52

Wisconsin

Just one more drink: Uh oh. He’s not waking up. Well, back to the party!

51 / 52

Wyoming

Accidentally falling into geyser, getting shot out 300 feet into the air, landing safely on soft surface, only to realize soft surface is litter of grizzly cubs: Easily preventable if you just obey the park rules.