Anxiety over coronavirus disrupting supply chains and many people’s continued isolation at home have inspired panic-buying of certain items with varying degrees of logical connection to the pandemic. The Onion looks at the most common panic-buying purchases during coronavirus.
PASTA: Buying something to throw at a wall to see if it’s cooked makes one feel in control.
HAND SOAP: A necessity during a public health crisis, hand soap is a nutrient-rich paste that can form the basis of many cheap staple meals.
BOTTLED WATER: Once you pour the water out, the bottles make great spittoons.
CANDLES: Some people just like candles, okay?
BIG-ASS CUPS: The more time you spend at home, the more you realize how important it is to have a big-ass cup to call your own.
HOUSEHOLD CLEANERS: In addition to providing long-lasting highs at a relatively low cost, they may also reduce your risk of contracting the virus.
PELOTON: Allows top 10% of income earners to maintain routine of throwing away $2,000.
YELLOW SQUASH: People aren’t quite sure what to do with it, but something inside them screamed buy, buy, buy!
ALCOHOL: Drinking at home essential now that Americans can’t drink at work.