Most Common Panic-Buying Purchases During Coronavirus

Illustration for article titled Most Common Panic-Buying Purchases During Coronavirus

Anxiety over coronavirus disrupting supply chains and many people’s continued isolation at home have inspired panic-buying of certain items with varying degrees of logical connection to the pandemic. The Onion looks at the most common panic-buying purchases during coronavirus.

PASTA: Buying something to throw at a wall to see if it’s cooked makes one feel in control.


HAND SOAP: A necessity during a public health crisis, hand soap is a nutrient-rich paste that can form the basis of many cheap staple meals.

BOTTLED WATER: Once you pour the water out, the bottles make great spittoons.

CANDLES: Some people just like candles, okay?

BIG-ASS CUPS: The more time you spend at home, the more you realize how important it is to have a big-ass cup to call your own.


HOUSEHOLD CLEANERS: In addition to providing long-lasting highs at a relatively low cost, they may also reduce your risk of contracting the virus.


PELOTON: Allows top 10% of income earners to maintain routine of throwing away $2,000.


YELLOW SQUASH: People aren’t quite sure what to do with it, but something inside them screamed buy, buy, buy!


ALCOHOL: Drinking at home essential now that Americans can’t drink at work.


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