Most Controversial Texts Sent To Elon Musk About Twitter

“You told me you loved me, you son of a bitch! I can’t believe I let you put your dick in my charging port. You’re a real fucking piece of work, you know that?”

“Would be happy to chip in any money to help out with Twitter sale: $1? $2? Even $3?”

“Hey, so our ride back to earth hasn’t shown up for a few weeks now. The SpaceX customer service line just goes to a machine. Any idea on the timeline for picking us up?”

“omg X Æ A-12 just made its first beep”

“Twitter never should have been a company. It should have been a pair of novelty socks. That’s the original sin.”

“Can you please follow me back.”

“We have received your report and found that the tweet ‘@tesla ur car exploded my whole family is on fire please send help’ does not violate our rules.”

“So on a scale from a simple jar of snake oil to Tesla, how big a scam are we talking here?”

“Happy to talk about it if this is interesting: Tony the Tiger, fully nude.”

“Son, my head is trapped in the mine again with my bare ass sticking out, exposed to the elements. Get the prying stick.”

“I have bought a gun.”

“Elon, please pick up the phone. The Neuralink monkeys have taken me and the baby hostage again.”

“Holy shit crazy insight came to me last nite: what if you took Twitter private and then deleted the entire website and bought a pigeon and named it Twitter and then users could sign up via the blockchain to deliver their Tweets to each other, pigeon style, and the pigeon is also on the blockchain (digital pigeon???). I already got serious $$$$$ lined up from [BlackRock CEO Larry] Fink so let me know when you’re on board!”

“Reminder to fuck employees.”

“know you’re busy but had an idea for destroying the grocery store industry i’d like to run by you”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you. It takes nine months to make a baby. No matter how much I want to, I cannot speed that up.”

“sfujk93ijj EUJAJee772kkjjjjjjjjjjjjj”

“I will help with financing: am willing to commit up to 500 cryptos ( = to 1275 cryptizmos). btw you owe me 75 cryptoloonos from that party last weekend. sick party, though—i’ve never seen so many smoking hot cryptoleezas in one room! i think one gave me a cryptomia tho :(”

“Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor”

“Hello? Anyone?”

“my one regret with Twitter is that I think we could’ve made a lot of money off of sex trafficking…our great burden now shifts to you, sir”

“I just brought our kids to the county clerk to change their names to ‘Abe’ and ‘Lindsey’. We’re adults. What were we thinking?”