If you die at a music festival, you die in real life. Here are the most dangerous things concert-goers should watch out for this year.
Advertisement
Getting hoisted overhead by concertgoers seems fun at first, but not after weeks go by and they refuse to put you down.
Advertisement
It’s dangerous, though understandable, to die rather than pay $15 for a water bottle.
Advertisement
Failing to do some market research before your trip can cost you in the long run.
Advertisement
At a festival, it may take first responders precious minutes to get to you before you completely open up to a stranger.
Advertisement
For 48 brief hours, you did not think about Microsoft Excel at all.
Advertisement
You don’t know these bands. You’re sleepy, and your feet hurt. This is the beginning of the end.
Advertisement
When you start to notice how pathetic everyone actually looks, it will ruin everything.
Advertisement
They’ll live it up in the platinum-level air-conditioned lounge and stuff your body in a Porta-Potty.
Advertisement
It doesn’t matter if it’s a lyric in the song, you can kiss that career in marketing goodbye.
Advertisement
Your body isn’t built to handle a weekend like this anymore.
Advertisement
Trust us. He’s stronger than he looks.
Advertisement
Dance as wildly as possible so they go for the weaker attendees.
Advertisement
Everyone glosses over this part of the Terms & Agreements for Coachella.
Advertisement
This legendarily fearsome barbarian warlord is unstoppable in combat, and he loves the communal energy of live music.
Advertisement
While it may smell good, the honest truth is you’re being roasted alive in a delicious blend of Mexican herbs and spices.
Advertisement
Many times pyrotechnics that are accidentally shot into packed crowds are laced with drugs like cocaine, methamphetamines, and even fentanyl.
Advertisement
It’s unfortunate, but the truth is that most music festivals are so boring that the majority of attendees blow their own brains out.
Advertisement
Hey, what the fuck, dude?
Advertisement