Most Frequently Googled Sex Questions

Most Frequently Googled Sex Questions

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Don’t be ashamed if you’re confused about sex, because no one in the world has a clue what it is. Here are the most common questions people have asked Google about sexual intercourse.

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“What just came out of my penis?”

“What just came out of my penis?”

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There are far more answers to this question than you think.

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“Clitoris user manual.”

“Clitoris user manual.”

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Readily available for download after you register your sexual organs with the manufacturer.

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“Do girls like it when I turn to a search engine for guidance instead of asking them directly about their turn-ons?”

“Do girls like it when I turn to a search engine for guidance instead of asking them directly about their turn-ons?”

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They sure do, almost as much as they like these expensive sex pills.

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“How to reproduce asexually?”

“How to reproduce asexually?”

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Clone your rhizomes, you single-celled idiot.

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“How long do lima beans need to soak before cooking?”

“How long do lima beans need to soak before cooking?”

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While it might not look like it to most readers, for certain subcultures this is, unfortunately, a sex question.

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“Did we finish yet?”

“Did we finish yet?”

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Googling sex questions during sex is actually a great way to make the experience even more fulfilling and romantic.

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“How to get STD fast?”

“How to get STD fast?”

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While STD prevention info is plentiful and well-known, people who voluntarily seek infection often have to consult the internet to get answers.

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“Do I need insurance to have intercourse?”

“Do I need insurance to have intercourse?”

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It’s important to be adequately covered in case of fire, injury, or death.

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Bing.com + sex”

Bing.com + sex”

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Most people only use Google as a way to figure out how to reach the more popular and successful search engine Bing, where they know they will find much better answers to their sex questions.

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“Is too much sex bad?”

“Is too much sex bad?”

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Nobody believes you.

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“How to make sex faster?”

“How to make sex faster?”

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Most people just want to get it over with.

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“Age of consent Arizona.”

“Age of consent Arizona.”

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Particularly popular search among sitting U.S. congressmen.

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“Mating dance + bird of paradise.”

“Mating dance + bird of paradise.”

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Female birds of paradise can always tell when males steal feather choreography straight from porn.

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“Should sex last longer than seven hours?”

“Should sex last longer than seven hours?”

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You can only hold out seven hours? How humiliating for you.

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“Can you be too good at sex?”

“Can you be too good at sex?”

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In principle, yes but you shouldn’t worry about it.

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“Partner emit ink everywhere normal?”

“Partner emit ink everywhere normal?”

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Top search for everyone learning to have sex with an octopus for the first time.

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“How to make boyfriend stop Googling sex questions?”

“How to make boyfriend stop Googling sex questions?”

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So long as Google keeps giving him bad answers, impossible.

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“Nearest baby drop-off area?”

“Nearest baby drop-off area?”

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Just because it’s Googled nine months later doesn’t mean it’s not a sex question.

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