As Americans head to the polls, they will be presented with a number of issues to vote on besides choosing their representatives. The Onion gives voters an advance look at which measures will be included on the ballots in which states.
Medical Marijuana (Arkansas, Florida, Montana, North Dakota):
Deciding whether to continue fooling themselves at the state level
Minimum Wage (Arizona, Colorado, Maine, Washington):
A proposal to gradually raise the minimum wage starting at $12 an hour immediately, with a hard cutoff at $9.2 million per hour in the year 2560
Right To Fish (Indiana):
Nobody’s really against it, but still, would be nice to get it in writing
Abolition Of Death Penalty (California):
Voters will have the opportunity to do what most Americans assumed California had done already
Measure D (California):
Whatever it does, firefighters love it and veterans hate it
Failing Schools (Georgia):
Would allow the state of Georgia to take over failing schools, incentivizing districts to do everything possible to avoid this terrifying prospect
Statehood (District of Columbia):
Oh, how cute, this again
Staying The Course (Wyoming):
Gives residents the chance to send their government a clear message that they like things just the way they are