SAN FRANCISCO—Shouting, “Eighty-eight miles per hour!” as he burst through the door in a handmade Doc Brown costume, Precision Intermedia sales associate Todd Shaw—indisputably the company’s most inept employee—once again shined at the annual office Halloween party, sources reported Friday. “I decided to mix it up this year with Doc from Back to the Future III, and I went all-out with the crazy grey wig, the fedora, and the suede jacket, not to mention the fact I had to hit three different craft stores to get the right paint for my scale-model Delorean,” said Shaw, who has never been asked to lead a project due to his abysmal attention to detail, often turns in work that is either late or embarrassingly incomplete, and has watched as no fewer than 10 junior coworkers have been promoted ahead of him. “If you look closely, you might notice I dyed my eyebrows a little grey, too. I mean, if you’re going to do something, you ought to take the time to do it right.” The man whose employment will be terminated by mid-December added that if his colleagues thought this costume was cool, they should see the one he’ll be wearing on Halloween itself.
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