Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

We may earn a commission from links on this page.
Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

This holiday season, try not being a total asshole. Here are the most offensive things you can say to someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas.

Advertisement

“Avert your eyes from the tree, heretic!”

“Avert your eyes from the tree, heretic!”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

While their unbelieving eyes do not deserve to take in the sight of Christmas, it’s tacky to say so.

Advertisement

“I hope you enjoy whatever second-rate holiday you observe in your dark, joyless homes.”

“I hope you enjoy whatever second-rate holiday you observe in your dark, joyless homes.”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

At least you had the sense to not say “Merry Christmas.”

Advertisement

“Are you Jewish, or is there something even worse?”

“Are you Jewish, or is there something even worse?”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

Let them volunteer this information on their own.

Advertisement

“Buddy, you will once we’re a proper Christian nation.”

“Buddy, you will once we’re a proper Christian nation.”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

Believe it or not, non-Christians don’t appreciate being vaguely threatened with forced conversion.

Advertisement

“Would you like me to show you how?”

“Would you like me to show you how?”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

In all likelihood, they’ve tried and failed to celebrate Christmas multiple times. They’ve made peace with their limitations, and so should you.

Advertisement

“A joyous Blood Feast!”

“A joyous Blood Feast!”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

Just because they don’t celebrate Christmas does not automatically indicate they worship our Dark Lord.

Advertisement

“You can come over and touch my Christmas presents later if you want.”

“You can come over and touch my Christmas presents later if you want.”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

It is best to avoid making it too obvious to people who don’t celebrate Christmas how much you pity them.

Advertisement

“Guards! Seize him!”

“Guards! Seize him!”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

Just because they don’t observe Christmas doesn’t mean your dreaded Crimson Imperial Guards have to drag them away.

Advertisement

“So then what are you doing to support capitalism this month?”

“So then what are you doing to support capitalism this month?”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

We all support in our own ways, they don’t need to be public about it.

Advertisement

“At least you have Hanukkah.”

“At least you have Hanukkah.”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

In addition to the fact that Jews aren’t the only people who don’t observe Christmas, Hanukkah also sucks.

Advertisement

“That’s okay. Your kid can still sit on my lap.”

“That’s okay. Your kid can still sit on my lap.”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

Any mall Santa accepting non-Christians on his sacred lap is a red flag that he’s a definite creep.

Advertisement

“Are you even allowed to kill yourself?”

“Are you even allowed to kill yourself?”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

Don’t gate-keep traditional holiday celebrations.

Advertisement

“It’s terrible that it’s illegal for you to feel happy today.”

“It’s terrible that it’s illegal for you to feel happy today.”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

Look, we don’t make the rules.

Advertisement

“Do you celebrate any of the Apostles’ birthdays at least?”

“Do you celebrate any of the Apostles’ birthdays at least?”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

Maybe by coincidence, but probably not.

Advertisement

“Comrade, the eagle is in the nest.”

“Comrade, the eagle is in the nest.”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

Unless they say they are a godless communist attempting to destroy American society, it’s rude to assume.

Advertisement

“Wear this ThunderShirt and you’ll be less afraid.”

“Wear this ThunderShirt and you’ll be less afraid.”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

People who don’t celebrate Christmas don’t need to be soothed like a dog with a special anxiety wrap.

Advertisement

“No presents and eternal damnation sounds like a terrible combo.”

“No presents and eternal damnation sounds like a terrible combo.”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

While it may be true, it’s best not to rub it in.

Advertisement

“Have fun burning in Hell”

“Have fun burning in Hell”

Image for article titled Most Offensive Things You Can Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Celebrate Christmas

It’s the holidays. No need to be condescending.

Advertisement