HOUSTON, TX—Severing ties as soon as the employee’s outside allegiances came to light, NASA reportedly fired engineer Mike Langevin Monday after it was revealed he was secretly working on behalf of a black hole. “After receiving evidence that one of the agency’s engineers had an undisclosed working relationship with Sagittarius A*, we have been forced to terminate his contract,” said NASA director Bill Nelson, explaining that Langevin was found to have been paid as much as $500,000 a year from the hostile cosmic body in exchange for providing it with NASA secrets. “It appears that his collusion with the black hole began in the early ’90s, calling into question nearly 30 years of research. We are doing a thorough review to determine what exactly this destructive black hole knows about our space program and how it may use that information to tear apart the very matter that makes up Earth.” At press time, Nelson assured the black hole that dismissing the engineer would provide sufficient cover for their plans.