Today, millions of Americans will celebrate romance with chocolates, flowers, and other offerings of love. How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day?

“Ah, crap, today’s the 14th? I’m supposed to be in court!”

Ian Decker • Doorbell Composer

“Probably my usual farcical darting back and forth between two restaurant tables with my two dates.”

Kerry Sharp • Gravity Tester

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“Sorry, I don’t buy into that bullshit corporate idea that I should show love to my significant other.”

Dale Hardin • Smock Stitcher