Where’s That Guy Been?’ Citizens Ask
LOS ANGELES—Responding to Justin Timberlake’s prolonged absence from the public stage, Americans across the nation expressed curiosity Monday about whatever happened to the once-popular singer-songwriter. “God, that guy was huge for a little bit, but I honestly couldn’t even tell you what he looks like any more,” said Los Angeles resident Tom Serota, noting that he was unable to recall a single appearance by the former star on recent magazines covers or late-night shows. “He did some movies, too, right? Man, poor guy must feel like a total has-been. But that’s just how fame works nowadays, I guess. You get a few minutes in the limelight and then, poof, you’re gone for good.” At press time, the U.S. populace wished Joey Fatone would just get out of their fucking faces.