BOSTON—Following the conviction Wednesday of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on all 30 charges related to the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, the United States populace allowed itself to celebrate for several moments before returning to the horrifying reality of ongoing violent extremism. “Right now, I’m just going to pull up the article ‘Tsarnaev Guilty On All Charges,’ put up a triumphant Facebook post, and forget about the fact that religious extremists are a growing global threat bent on bringing death to innocent civilians by the most gruesome means possible,” said Massachusetts resident Lou Ramirez after discussing with several coworkers how the 21-year-old Tsarnaev might now face capital punishment, a little treat he says he’s giving himself before returning to the understanding that thousands of radicalized young people are, at this moment, pledging their lives to the Islamic State, traveling across the world to join their ranks, and fighting a violent holy war that has killed countless thousands. “In a half hour or so, I can go back to considering the paralyzing reality that the most powerful nations on earth seem helpless to prevent rogue domestic attacks like those in Paris and Sydney, and are struggling to contain ISIS, Boko Haram, and dozens of other fundamentalist groups, all of which seek the wholesale slaughter of those who don’t agree with their strict interpretations of religious law. But until then, I’m just going to text ‘Got him!’ to my friends and be happy this guy is behind bars.” At press time, the American people decided to give themselves an extra two minutes to run down the list of Tsarnaev’s convictions before glancing over at the latest headlines coming out of Kenya.

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