WASHINGTON—Snapping their fingers and hanging their heads in disappointment, the nation confirmed Friday that they nearly strung together three good days in a row. “Oh shucks, just a few more hours there and we would have had a hat trick,” said Andrew Heitzman, one of 330 millions visibly downcast Americans who loudly sighed before going on to stress that three days would have been a record for them. “Still, we had a pretty good run going there, and we almost stuck the landing. But then we screwed up like we always do. Darn it.” At press time, the nation went on to note that two whole days was still nothing to sneeze at.