Illustration for article titled Nation’s Cuckolded Husbands Gear Up For First Day Of Hunting Season With Wives’ Lovers

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—Packing up their shotguns and donning brightly colored orange jackets, the nation’s cuckolded husbands set out Tuesday for the first day of hunting season with their wives’ secret lovers. “You ready to do this, buddy?” said husband Walter Conelly, echoing the words of thousands of other cuckolded men across the country as he loaded gear, ammunition, and a cooler into the bed of his truck mere inches from the man who has been engaging in sexual intercourse with his wife at a nearby motel at least once a week for the last 15 months. “I went to this same place last year and there were pheasants everywhere. It’s a great little spot.” At press time, the nation’s husbands were patting the passenger seats of their trucks and instructing their acquaintances, each of whom had slept with their wives more recently than they had, to “hop in” so they could get out into the woods before it got too late

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