NASHVILLE, TN—Shouting to make themselves heard over the blasting music and the other bellowing drunks, the nation’s 12.6 million intoxicated strangers announced plans to agree definitively and completely with anything one another said, inebriated sources repeatedly confirmed Tuesday. “Fuck yeah, dude, you’re totally right, and I’m going to keep nodding and pointing at you and yelling ‘Yes!’ over and over again even if I spill my drink when I make the pointing motion because what you’re saying, what you’re saying, is dead-bang-on the fucking money,” said beaming drunk man Kevin Clay, peppering his statement with passionate interjections of, “This guy!” and, “Preach, brother!” “Holy shit, you get it! It’s too bad more people don’t think like you!” The nation’s drunk strangers have reportedly ignored requests for clarification as the group has since begun angrily disagreeing with one other and loudly challenging one another to take this outside.
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