Nation’s Little Piggies Demand A Sweet Treat

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WASHINGTON—Smacking their plump lips in anticipation as they squealed for piles upon piles of sugary delights, the nation’s little piggies took to the streets of the nation’s capital Tuesday to demand their sweet treats. “Oh, please, please, please! Our tummies need their yummies, and they need them now!” piped thousands of wee squeakers, rubbing their plump bellies and wiggling their chubby, sticky little fingers as they gurgled plaintively for something glazed in icing or heaped with frosting. “Give us a yum yum? We’ve been so very good! And now we want gumdrops, lollipops, jelly beans, trifles, and lashings and lashings of luscious chocolates! We promise if you just give us one little custard, we’ll be ever so good! We shan’t ask for another ever, ever again! Oh, pretty please!” At press time, the dear little roly-poly dumplings had disappeared into a fog of confectioners sugar as they fell greedily upon the tray of Turkish delight provided to silence them.