Neighborhood Busybody Reports Sound Of Gunshots

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INDIANAPOLIS—Once again sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, neighborhood busybody Sally Christensen, 54, reportedly took it upon herself to report the sound of gunshots to law enforcement early Tuesday morning, sources confirmed. “As soon as that first burst of gunfire and screaming rang out, I’m sure Sally couldn’t get to the phone fast enough,” neighbor Glenn Maurer said after learning that the homemaker and mother of three had called 911 upon hearing the escalating shouting match, the sequence of gunshots, and the screech of tires, turning the situation into a huge deal that she couldn’t help but meddle in. “Sally only needs the smallest excuse to pry into other people’s business and then it’s off to the races. It’s like, worry about your own life and let whoever was involved in that bloody shootout worry about theirs, all right?” At press time, the gossipy Christensen could be seen chattering away about the deadly gunfight to police detectives surveying the crime scene.