LAS VEGAS—In an effort to ease growing sexual frustration among those traveling to and from their workplaces, the Nevada Transportation Authority announced Tuesday it would open dedicated bang bus lanes to better service the state’s horny commuters. “This new initiative will provide aroused Nevadans with a faster, easier way to get ridden hard on their way to work, in many cases allowing them to get off in as little as half the time it would take otherwise,” said NTA chair Dawn Gibbons, adding that the new lanes would help alleviate delays that often force hot and bothered commuters to sit in traffic on bang buses long after they’ve blown their load. “This is also a big step toward bringing bang busing to pockets of sexual deviants in our communities who, up until now, have had no way of getting their rocks off between home and work. It will even reduce our carbon footprint, as more commuters will want access to public road head instead of getting blown in their separate cars.” In addition, NTA officials confirmed they were studying ways to expand Fake Taxi service in hopes of satisfying the needs of the state’s naïve, barely legal tourists.
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