CHICAGO—In response to ongoing complaints of unexpected outages and subpar customer service response times, cable provider Comcast debuted a new bundle deal Thursday that includes 24/7 live-in technical support. “After analyzing customer feedback, we’ve realized that expecting our customers to set aside a six-hour block to be home every week is unrealistic, so we’re sending some of our best people to stay on their couches,” said Comcast head of market strategy Travis Porter, noting that higher-tier packages also include an optional air mattress or cot. “Whenever you need assistance with your cable, phone, or internet, your live-in technician will walk into your living room to help answer any questions. We should note that his or her English may not be great, so we do ask our customers to be patient. Additionally, we recommend customers not to stack a bunch of stuff on top of the technician in order to prevent overheating.” Comcast confirmed that, in addition to the monthly rate, customers would also be responsible for paying a monthly activation fee to cover any nutritional needs.
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