New ‘Cut Off Your Genitals’ Challenge Gains Popularity Among Teens Online

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MILWAUKEE—Noting an unprecedented increase in the number of cases involving juveniles with self-inflicted knife wounds, representatives from the Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin confirmed Wednesday that the internet’s new “Cut Off Your Genitals” challenge has become very popular among teenagers. “We are disappointed to report this online fad is both spreading quickly and is pretty much exactly what its name implies,” said trauma surgeon Rebecca Garland, adding that nearly 70 percent of teens treated in the nation’s intensive care units last month reported having recently filmed themselves using a serrated blade to detach their genitals, which they then threw at an unsuspecting friend as a prank. “Many young people think this is just some fun thing everyone is doing on social media, at least until they end up in the emergency room with a gaping, infected laceration of the crotch. These kids need to understand that the decision to cut off your penis or vagina can have lifelong consequences. It’s no laughing matter.” While reiterating their concerns, physicians acknowledged that the current fad is not nearly as dangerous to youths as last year’s “Gouge Your Eyes Out, Swallow Them Whole, Puke Them Back Up, And Then Have Your Retinas Surgically Reattached” challenge, which, to date, no one has successfully completed.