New Evidence Finds God Destroyed Sodom And Gomorrah As Part Of Luxury Condominium Development Deal

Illustration for article titled New Evidence Finds God Destroyed Sodom And Gomorrah As Part Of Luxury Condominium Development Deal

BAB EDH-DHRA, JORDAN—Upending long-held theological notions about how the famous biblical cities met their end, new evidence presented by a team of archaeologists Tuesday indicates that God, Maker of Heaven and Earth, destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah to make way for a luxury condo development. “Despite scriptural claims that these ill-fated cities were punished for their sinfulness, it appears their obliteration was actually phase one of a plan to replace their older housing stock with brand-new condominium apartments that featured roof decks, indoor and outdoor pools, and onsite fitness centers,” said Ricardo Rosales, who led the excavation of sites where scholars believe Sodom and Gomorrah might have been located, explaining that ancient building plans suggest fire and brimstone raining from the sky were merely a demolition technique used by the Almighty to clear the way for opulent high-rises overlooking the Dead Sea. “While anger over debauchery and illicit sex might have played some small role in God’s decision, it also had a lot to do with His desire to better leverage property assets with a product that appealed to a more affluent clientele. Indeed, it appears the goal of razing the two cities was not to purge the fornicators, but rather to purge the low-income residents who were making it difficult to attract outside investment.” Rosales added that the erroneous story found in religious texts might derive from the fact that, years later, God was forced to smite the luxury condominium residents due to their rampant, widespread practice of bestiality.